Five Essential... Guilty Pleasure Childhood Movies of the 80s

Dominic O'Brien selects his Five Essential Guilty Pleasure Childhood Movies of the 80s…

Oh how I love 80s filmmaking. Honestly no other decade within film (at least to my knowledge) contains more cult film features that span from kids films, through to long forgotten action and horror films. One such sub-genre which seems to have grown in popularity (possibly due in part to the internet) is that of guilty pleasure films from our childhood.

Sure there are those classic 80s kid flicks which have stood the test of time; The Goonies, Ghostbusters, Indiana Jones and The Karate Kid to name a few. But what about those lesser seen almost unheard of features. The ones your parents (or maybe you) got out when the better films where already rented.

Obviously I am speaking for myself here, but when I was younger these films were considered cinematic marvels. So sit down, grab a bean bag, sip from your favorite childhood tipple and indulge in my top five Guilty Pleasure Childhood Movies of the 80s...

5 – The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)

Anyone brought up in the 80s knew of the collectable cards these were based on. Sick, revolting, un-pc and utterly brilliant, this really only could have been a product of the 80s. I would love to see something like this made today, but then I don’t think it would contain the same charm (or distinct disgustingness) that made it what it was all those years ago. Considered one of the worst films ever made, but what actually makes it so bad? Well it contains one of the most god awful song and dance routines ever committed to film (it will haunt your nightmares). It becomes painfully clear how the same sets are constantly reused and it is filled with woeful dialogue. This is so amazingly awful that it truly has to be seen to be believed. With characters such as Valerie Vomit, Windy Winston and Greaser Greg how could you not want to see this?


4 - Mac and Me (1988)

Essentially an E.T. rip-off (about 5 years too late), this has now gained an almost notorious, cult film following (myself unfortunately included). It is almost as though the film was funded by McDonald’s and its hard not to notice the rather strange, mass dance-off in said eatery. There are moments (which when watched now) that do provoke uncontrollable fits of laughter such as; the rather obvious use of a stunt dummy during a characters fall off a cliff, the over reliance on product placement and the stiff puppet movements of the title character. When all is said and done its still a rip-off, but a rip-off with a little bit of heart underneath its product placement visuals.



3 - Little Monsters (1989)

During my younger years this movie was responsible for being afraid about what could be under the bed. It is in fact an over looked dark children's fantasy, although it was probably responsible for traumatising more children then actually entertaining them. Howie Mandell (the voice of Gizmo from Gremlins) proves to an eccentric and (sometimes) frightening friend to a young Fred Savage. The monster city is almost Burton-esque in its design and the films climax still manages to produce chills and nightmares in equal measure. The image of the head monster (dressed as a public school boy) still fills me with dread.




2 - Ghost Chase (1988)

This cheaply made kids film was (a then young) Roland Emmerich’s first film as director. Far removed from his more recent mega expensive, mega explosive and mega awful films that he churns out now. This feature (much like the others on this list) holds a special place in my film heart. For starters I had always been mesmerized by the VHS cover art, it was both frightening and intriguing. It used Belouis Some’s ‘Imagination’ (a piece of pure 80s power pop) within the trailer and has a great showdown with a haunted suit of armor. Plus what other film are you likely to see that has a spirit of a dead butler possess a movie prop puppet? Low budget and underrated, this is a must for all cult film fans.



1 - Howard The Duck (1986)

I can already hear the boos on this choice, but (with the more astute among you already guessing) I really...rather....like....Howard the Duck. Now that I've lost all critical respect I want to tell you the reasons why. Yes it's an awful film and one which is unable to judge what target audience its actually aiming for (is it for teenagers or pre-teens?). What it does have is what I like to call the three C's of bad filmmaking; charm, cheese and cult appeal. Three things which help make this so much more then a bog standard comic book film. Howard is a fun character and has some truly corny one-liners; “No one laughs at a master of Quack Fu!” or “No duck is an island”. While its hard not to enjoy the stop-motion, Harryhausen inspired climax (which has stood the test of time). Only issue I have is the slightly dubious human / water foul love affair. Barring that the theme song is annoyingly catchy.

Honourable mentions:

The Gate (1987)
Hawk the Slayer (1981)
Masters of the Universe (1987)
The Last Starfighter (1984)

Agree? Disagree? We'd love to hear your thoughts...

Dominic O'Brien is an aspiring writer and filmmaker; he is a cult film fanatic and continues to seek out the weirdest and strangest films committed to celluloid.

Essentials Archive

Five Essential... Films of Dario Argento

Dominic O'Brien selects his Five Essential Films of Dario Argento…

Although he has fallen from grace somewhat recently, during the 70s and 80s Dario Argento was the master of suspense and mystery. During this time he managed to craft some of the finest pieces of Italian giallo and genre films. Still, to this day his films are as genuinely eye popping and disturbingly beautiful as they where when first released. These films are respected by both critics and fans alike, and his influence on future filmmakers is evident even now. As the years passed his genre films quickly became more rock n’ roll, particularly with his frequent collaborator - composer Claudio Simonetti - though he never managed to maintain the highs he had all those years previously. With that in mind, I present the essential Dario Argento...

5. Inferno (1980)

An often over looked film, Argento once again strays into the supernatural with his follow up to Suspiria. Although critically attacked and receiving a poor box office when first released, this has gained a steady cult following over the years. Most notable as a video nasty (but later dropped) due to a cat eating a mouse on camera, along with the subsequent drowning of a cat – which was later to be revealed as fake – helped to cement its cult status within the UK until recently. Much like Suspiria this is a mesmerising nightmare, the iconic sequence where the lead's sister finds an underwater passage, is both tense and creepy. Its dreamlike intention and nightmarish quality literally floats into your subconscious. While not up to the same fairytale/nightmare as Suspiria, this is still a supremely under-rated supernatural horror, the dark blues leaving you cold and chilled.

4. The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970)

Dario Argento’s first feature as director is still as fresh today as it was some 40 years before. Essentially a remake of the Hollywood feature Screaming Mimi and although a little rough around the edges, this is still awe inspiring. Like Deep Red, this film contains what were to be several of Argento’s signature traits within his giallo, such as the black-gloved killer or the character being able to remember previously referenced clues which tie into the identity of the killer. This was the film that would send Argento into the big leagues of Italian giallo and genre cinema. Still provocative and imaginative in its use of kills and scoring, this was and still is one of the best Argento films.



3. Deep Red a.k.a. Profondo Rosso (1975)

This creepy and effective giallo is so beautifully shot and filled to the brim with standout moments; it quickly becomes hard to list them all. With under-rated David Hemmings playing a piano teacher who is drawn into an investigation of a sadistic killer, this would be the forbearer to Argento’s now artistic style. It contains several clever visual touches which foreshadow the deaths of particular characters or moments of threat later on. One shot that specifically stands out is the exact replication of Edward Hopper’s ‘Nighthawks’ diner painting, which is recreated perfectly. Then there are the deaths themselves, which are so gloriously stylised and inventive as to leave you feeling unnerved at their perverse beauty [watch Deep Red here].


2. Opera a.k.a. Terror at the Opera (1987)

With a fantastically haunting and operatic score by Argento regular Claudio Simonetti with Brian Eno (of Roxy Music fame) and some of Argento’s most epically stylised shots, this is probably his last grandiose film and his last which has grabbed my attention. Almost all of the deaths are shown within close-ups, accompanied by electrifying guitar scores which add to the theatricality of it all. It also contains a slew of Argento’s most iconic sequences, the needles under the eyelids of our heroine, which I dare you not to wince when watching. There is the now iconic sequence where actress Daria Niccolodi is shot in the head through a keyhole. Again a sequence which makes superior use of close-ups, the brief shot of the bullet travelling through the keyhole, followed by a fantastically composed wide shot as the bullet exits her head only to destroy a near by phone. This is a film that contains so many standout moments (overly gory but operatic in style) which Argento uses from his extensive oeuvre of magic film tricks, that it almost feels as though it is a greatest hits compilation. And when has that ever been a bad thing?

1. Suspiria (1977)

The first of Argento’s Three Mothers Trilogy, this is quite possibly his most well known and best remembered masterpiece. It is also the most beautiful of supernatural nightmares. Everything present within this film feels expertly crafted to the highest of horror standards. From the very first cleverly orchestrated (and still graphic) double murder through to the stylised use of Technicolor lighting which draws you further into this deranged fairytale/nightmare. There is also the now legendary score by symphonic Italian rock maestros Goblin, whose haunting soundtrack still continues to send shivers down the spines of even the most hardened horror fanatic. Everything within this is pitch-perfect and one of those rare films which feels like it is a new discovery even after previous viewings. I don’t think boarding schools have ever been so terrifying before or since.


Honourable mentions...

Phenomena a.k.a. Creepers (1985)
Tenebrae (1982)
Four Flies on Grey Velvet (1971)

Agree? Disagree? We'd love to hear your thoughts...

Dominic O'Brien is an aspiring writer and filmmaker; he is a cult film fanatic and continues to seek out the weirdest and strangest films committed to celluloid.

Essentials Archive